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A new place for the thoughts [Jul. 17th, 2008|07:09 pm]

I've started a new blog at http://missusglad.blogspot.com.  It will mainly contain what happens in St. Louis during these 18 months.  I may still update here though, especially when I have some sensitive stuffs that I'm not too willing to share with the public at blogspot.

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Counting Down [Jul. 2nd, 2008|05:27 pm]
[Current Location |Parents' Place]
[Current Mood |melancholymelancholy]
[Current Music |I Just Can't Get You Out of My Head- Kylie Minogue]

We have just 3 more days to go.  Last Monday, as I hug my family goodbye at the airport, I was empowered by the strongest surge of sadness.  It may sound silly to some, but it really upsets me a great deal for not being able to see them for the next 6 mths.  Sigh...

I have been feeling pretty lost and scared for the past week or so.  Am I going to face the four walls daily till the hubby comes home from work?  Will I really turn into an old haggard housewife?  Will I slip into depression?  Will I become a loner with the hubby as my only friend?  Et ceteras...  Too many fearful and disheartening questions are wearing me out.  

On a lighter note, I have been invited to an interview by the school!  Wish me all the luck coz I need it badly, and pray for me!  I have intentions to do abit of voluntary work too when I'm there.  That's becoz I think I need to atone for my gossiping sins.  Hahaa...  But of coz the main reason is to ensure that I spend my time fruitfully.  I wish to come back as a better person with more insights of life, even if I do not get to further my studies.  I reckon since I am oredi going to lag behind my peers in terms of career, I should at least try to lead a more meaningful life for the next 18 months.  All these are possible only if I have the emotional strength and courage to venture out in the wild alone;so, remb to pray for me!

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Internal struggle [Jun. 28th, 2008|02:55 am]
I don't wan to sleep.  If i were to sleep, time will pass in a breeze.  I'm moving out in less than 10 hrs time.  I need to savour every single second I have left in our matrimonial home.

As I pack our last few belongings, I wept silent tears.  I just can't bear to see strangers invading my house; the very first home we built together.

If i were to say no to the States, if i were not so complacent in my job, I would not have to go thru this grief.  Is this regret or is it "one is never satisfied with wat he has"?  Mebbe its too early to tell if i'd made e right choice, so for now it's probably regret.
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