*glAd~* (gladgladys) wrote,

  • Mood:

I will miss the place we called Home.

As i started to put bits n pieces of our home into boxes, i am gradually overwhelmed by sadness and fear.  While we busied ourselves with the wrapping, moving, arranging, and finally boxing things up, our home is looking more like merely an empty shell.  After 3 nites of massive packing, I turned my head around, with searching eyes, checking what other important/ bulky items needs to be boxed up.  Suddenly, a surge of melancholy overtook me.  We are about to abandon the lovenest we painstakingly built together over 6 months.  What is going to happen to our cosy home?  Which weird strangers are occupying our place?  Whose hands will be all over my almost brand new furniture?  OMG, i cant think beyond that.  I feel sick.  I am depressed.  I tried to dissuade Shawn into not renting out our place, but to no avail.  "Is S$40k that important, esp at the expense of having strangers roaming freely in our almost brand new home?" i asked.  Of coz the Martian answered yes.  To hell with a brand new car 18 mths later.  I dunnit a better performance car nor a more branded one.  I am satisfied with my current Mazda or its league.  The Venus very much prefer to keep the house empty and as it is for the next 18 mths, and come back to the old trusty mazda thereafter.  Somehow within me, i am half hoping to get a good tenant who is willing to pay $2600pm for rental, while the other half of me is hoping nobody wans our place and we can juz leave it vacant.

I am also worried about my life ahead in the States.  With all the initial excitement and enthusiasm gone in a flash, the lonliness and fear is creeping in.  I foresee a lonely figure drifting about within the cold hard bricks, lost and hungry for the laughters and gossips.  I am surely going to miss out alot.  

Food, my fav spicy local food.  i shall haf my 6 mths worth of local food all stuffed within the next 4 wks.  

Oh, and i juz realised i haf exactly 4 more weeks to our departure date, should we leave on the 3rd or 4th of July.  Sigh....

God, I prefer to be accepted by the college than to self-study.  Please do make my prayer come true.

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